How to Receive Critique

Say, “Thank you.”
This is the proper response to any critique, positive or negative, offered by anyone for any reason.Even if the person is an ass. Even if they are trying to hurt you. Even if they are totally wrong. Even if there’s a reason you did whatever.

Don’t explain. Your teacher does not need to know why this critique does not apply to you, or how you thought you were doing that, or that you already did that.

Just say “Thank you.” And mean it.

What this achieves
It requires you to receive the comment thoughtfully. Even trolls can have something useful to say, mean-spirited as it might be.

It confuses the trolls. If anyone is trying to unhorse you, this will break their pattern of attack.

It shows respect to anyone who is truly on your side. Nothing is more annoying to a teacher than to deflect their thoughtful comment. Remember, Correction = Compliment. If you weren’t worth correcting, they wouldn’t bother.

Then what?
Check in with your feelings
We often feel hurt or even angry when criticized. Most people have no clue how to give constructive feedback, particularly corrections. Taking a moment to assess your feelings helps you to respond creatively and avoid reinforcing or escalating a hurtful response pattern. As you get in the habit of this, you will start to do it sooner and sooner–even before the Thank you. This will make your thanks even more genuine.

If you are in class
Follow the correction. Even if you are already doing that. Do it more mindfully.

Assume that a general correction to the class also applies to you. In general, trust your teacher and just do whatever they say.

If needed, ask for confirmation/clarification. For example, as you follow the correction, you may ask, “Like this?” or, if you don’t see what they problem, “Would you please show me what I’m doing do I can see the difference?”

If you have an injury that makes following difficult, try to do the correction in a way that doesn’t hurt. If that’s not possible, ask how to modify it for your condition. “I hurt my foot–how can I adapt this?” Even better, let your teacher know at the beginning of class that you are injured.

If another student corrects you, say Thank you, then go back to your business. It is not the place of students to correct in class, unless they have been specifically delegated by the teacher. If they persist, talk to your teacher. If your teacher can’t or won’t manage the class, find a new one.

In a public space, such as a performance
Always accept praise with grace and humility. People who block praise appear rude and stuck up. Your audience has taken the time and risk to come up to you and talk to you. This is a very big deal. Take the time to be genuinely appreciative of every compliment, especially from strangers. They have no reason to prop you up. You have no idea what is going on with them, what your show may have meant to them, for what reason.

Don’t apologize. So many of us get a compliment and then explain (often at length) what we did wrong, why our show sucked, etc, etc. Just because you aren’t happy with your show is no reason to destroy it for others. Just say thank you. And mean it. It insults the taste and intelligence of the audience to tell them they are wrong.

Ask questions. Whether the feedback is positive or negative, it’s okay to ask specific questions and get clarification. Some examples:
What was your favorite part?
Where did you most notice that?
What element gave you that impression?
What feeling did you get from the end?

In any space, public or online (such as YouTube or Facebook)
PLEASE DON’T FEED THE TROLLS. Feel free to ignore, delete, block, or unfriend angry, insulting spam. Trust your gut.

Buddhists say your worst enemy is your best teacher. Sure, some people just want to hate on you, for whatever reason. But they may also bring you a vital teaching. When you are able to step back from the hurt or outrage their comments may bring, you can more effectively find it.

Maybe there is something about your dance, costuming, or presentation that could be improved. Maybe it is all about learning to take negative comments in a professional manner, rather than as personal attacks. Maybe it is about cutting negative people out of your life.

Reflect and Revise
The more you step back and weigh people and interactions dispassionately, the more you make changes that bring you ever closer to your true self, the more you let go of self-serving excuses that keep you small, the easier it is to attain greatness.

Attain Greatness.
It is the best revenge ever.