Here’s another 90 Days Love Note. This one is Day 39 from 2015. We’re counting down to the start of this year’s 90 Days with a Love Note a day through March 11th.
Think of the most wonderful dancer you’ve ever seen. Everything they do entrances you—every action feels perfect. You notice only the energy and the love. Joy and warmth suffuse your soul. You feel loved and loving, uplifted and happy. At the end, you applaud wildly, wishing only for more.
How do they do it?
How do they make everything so beautiful?
They must practice a lot.
If only… ;(
Here’s a conundrum.
In any moment, all of life can be perfect—or hell—or however we happen to feel. Ironically, the moment itself may be neutral. It’s about how we feel. (Okay, some moments suck—but even so, our emotional experience can be at odds with the circumstances. Who hasn’t felt crappy at a happy event? Or curiously free at a sad time?)
When we dance, we can feel great, crappy, or anything in between—whether the audience loves us or not—and this largely depends upon how we feel about ourselves in that moment. So if we feel like we are are crap, the moment will be crap. But when we feel great, beautiful, enchanting—the moment will be lovely. We can literally transform the moment through our own emotional projection. It’s magic.
So the most beautiful move is the one you are doing right now.
I know, right? Sadly, the crappiest move can also be the move you are doing right now.
Yes, the same move. The difference is in your mind. This is why you won’t see me suggesting specific moves, or how to use specific muscles. Movement choice and creation in the moment is intuitive. The movement doesn’t matter. What’s important is how we feel, our connection to the music, and what we give to the audience. That’s what the audience notices. That’s what they love. That’s what they remember.
I first heard this from Fahtiem, a wonderful dancer, great teacher, and super cool human being. She said, “It’s not a hip drop. It’s a hip drop! Every time!” It’s something cool and special that we share with our guests—and ourselves. And it’s up to us to make it happen. What do they know? Nothing. We create the audience’s perception through our projection of emotional texture. So we have to learn to feel great about our moves. Seriously.
How do we learn that?
Practice. But not the way you think. We’re mostly trained to practice technique—perfecting our physical ability to create shapes in time and space. And that’s important.
But there is more to improvisation than making a shape. There is our intuitive connection to the music, which we practice in our 20 minutes. And there is the mindspace of joy, of beauty. Yes, that, too, deserves practice.
Here’s the secret: Pick a basic move. My favorite is the infinity (aka snake hips). Do the move. Slowly. VERY slowly. Enjoy the physical feeling of every moment. As you do it, use your breath. I exhale the weight change. As the hip goes down and out, I exhale. (the inhale takes care of itself). As you do it, gaze lovingly at yourself and say, “This is the most beautiful move I have ever seen.” And mean it.
I do this after using the restroom, before I walk out the door. It’s one of my Tiny Habits. I do it 3 times, with the breath and the affirmation. It takes 30 seconds. PS, if the mirror bothers you, then don’t look. Just feel it. Here’s a tiny video to show you what I mean.* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT2ntWMinhU
Yeah, but I’m not very good
That’s in your mind. Really. Even if you are an absolute beginner, the fastest way to hip-drop hell is to tell yourself how much you suck, to apologize on stage for existing. Look, the guests took time out of their busy lives to come and see you. Give them some honey. They don’t care about you—they care about how they feel. And that comes from what you give them: Joy. Verve. Fun.
These are things you can practice. The most beautiful move is whatever you perceive as such. So when you sashay out on stage with joy and verve, when you delight them with your love and generosity, they will respond.
Try the exercise for a week. Put a note in the bathroom to remind you. See how you feel. Love yourself. Love your body. Love your moves. Love your audience. They will love you back.
* * *
I wrote the above for the 90 Day Dance Challenge of 2015. We’re doing the 90 Days again. It starts March 11th. In honor of this, I’m posting a Love Note every day from now to the 11th, each from one of the previous 90 Days.
Still time to join us. Will you please take a look? I’d love to see you there. aliathabit.com/90days
All my love,
*Adapted from Kenny Werner’s highly recommended book, Effortless Mastery(and eternal thanks to Teadora for suggesting it). Werner writes about jazz improvisation, but his observations apply to us as well.
Music: Istanbul Oriental Ensemble: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tJzgeDOMEI&list=RD1tJzgeDOMEI#t=10