How to self critique (without wanting to die)

student looking at paper with F

When I was 16 or 17, I danced at the local block party. It was my first performance, ever. My homemade costume took weeks. I made a grand entrance from the big doors on the parlor floor of my house and danced down the front steps. I did floorwork in the street. Lots of people gathered, and everyone cheered. It was a big hit. I was happy.

A friend filmed the show (we didn’t have video back then). A few weeks later, we all sat down to watch the movie.

Imagine my horror when the film brought back every moment of worry. I was paralyzed by shame. All the fun memories were smashed by the anxiety the film ignited. And this was only my first performance. Over so many years, even when a show felt great and I I got great response from the guests, when I saw the video, I cringed.


It’s taken most of my life to enjoy my own performances. I’d like to help you enjoy yours–now.


What is self critique?

Self critique means looking at our own work with the intention of understanding its strengths and weaknesses. We see what we are doing well, and where we could improve. Take special note of that last sentence—strength as well as weakness. The problem is, most of us have no idea about our strengths, since all we ever see are our weaknesses.

Why self critique? 

Why not just ask our teachers and friends to give us advice? Certainly teachers who know more than we do could do a better job of diagnosing our dance and offering solid advice.

We might like doing it ourselves.
Self-critique gives us a lot of control. We can take our time and analyze what worked and what didn’t from our perspective, based upon what we wanted to accomplish. It happens on our own time, when we are ready to do it. While it is incredibly helpful to get honest, unbiased feedback from a mentor or peer, no one needs judgmental comments made by folks who don’t “get” what we are doing.

We may not have reliable mentors/friends.
Thanks to the internet, many of us have learned to dance through videos. We don’t have any friends or teachers that we can easily ask for feedback. It’s fine to ask a random pal what they thought, but they may not know enough about what we are trying to do to give us actionable feedback.

Or we may have plenty of dancer peeps, but we may have outgrown their level of expertise. Or their objectivity may be compromised by their own baggage. It’s challenging to get critique from someone who feels threatened by us, or is obsessed with minor issues of correctness.


Plenty of people will tell us what we did wrong.
But not so many will celebrate what we did right. So we are going to learn to do this for ourselves.


The key is objectivity. 

This means we have a set of criteria that can be applied across the board to help us measure our accomplishments. AND we have to know which elements are most important—because, frankly, having a good time is more important than whether your hip scarf was tucked just so. Yet so many of us feel a dance was ruined because of some little glitch! If the dance reaches the guests, they never notice that hip scarf, except in the briefest of passing moments. So our tasks are

• Develop a set of objective criteria
• Rank these from most to least important (you may be surprised)
• Apply them as tools to help us focus and improve our dance.

What’s really great about this set of elements is that they are helpful to teachers as well. This is why I developed the course Focus on the Feeling (FoF 😉

FoF is special

Fof helps dancers learn self-critique. It helps us develop an objective view. It helps us help our dance friends, too. AND it helps teachers learn to value strengths and provide more compassionate, productive help for their students.

There are five weeks of classes. Each one focuses on a different tool. All the tools work together–and you can use them for more than dance–in fact, you can assess pretty much anything.

FoF is also special because it is hosted on a private forum. No Facebook groups! It features daily accountability, daily instructor interaction (that’s me ; ), and a fun group of like-minded dancers.

I’ve been teaching critique for over twenty years
I had to learn to help my own students. And now I’m here to help you–and your students ; )

It all starts next week… Focus on the Feeling

Love,
Alia

And of course, there’s more!

The Bellydance Bundle
Yes, the Bundle is back ; ). Better than ever, too. Available Oct 16-24.

Focus on the Feeling
FoF starts Monday, Oct 21–right around the corner! Compassionate, productive critique is such a useful skill in our dance. If you’d like to join, please do! This is one of my favorite classes.

ACE Mastermind
This past summer (here in the US) five of us piloted the Artist’s Creative Expression (ACE) Mastermind. It was a happy success, so much so that it is now going public! If you would like to be involved, there is still room! We’ll start up in late Oct or early Nov and go through the end of the year.

FUN Classes
FUN classes are just that–FUN. They are a one-hour, improv-focused, follow-me, vacation form the real world. The current crop begins Thursday Oct 24. These are available here.

FREE Fun Class
We will also have FREE live Fun Class open to the public on Thursday, Oct 17 at 7PM EDT (a recording will be available until to stream until Weds, Oct 23). Please do come, and feel free to invite your friends. Here is the link to sign up: https://alia-thabit.ck.page/free-fun-class

How to Focus on the Good (to feel stronger and take action)

Last week, I inadvertently gave the impression that we should all turn off, tune out, and stop caring about the cruelty going on in the world. This was not my intent. I apologize for having done so.  

I am concerned with the levels of overwhelm that swamp so many folks. There is a lot of bad news, and many of us feel powerless against the rising tide. This is why I stopped posting bad news and started posting good news, news about people who had made a difference. Because we can all make a difference. But marinating in misery doesn’t really help us do that.  

Focusing on the good helps us step out of overwhelm.

Focusing on the good helps us have the space to take action. Taking action helps us make a difference. Even a small difference makes a big difference.

My small way of taking action has been to learn about trauma and how to heal it. My model of choice has been Somatic Experiencing (SE). I just completed their truly splendid three-year training program.  Soon, I will be certified as a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. 

I’m pleased with what I have accomplished. But I’m more pleased with now having the tools and skills to help folks come back into their bodies. Into theirselves. Into their lives.

Trauma is a killer.

Most of the cases of depression on the list below are trauma-related.

There is a picture here worth seeing

Most of us have suffered challenging experiences whose effects still drag on us. Many toxic elements of the current global situation (not to mention our life experiences) are extremely challenging. They won’t stop. So we have to stop them from eating us alive.

We do this by creating safe spaces for ourselves.

We do this by consciously becoming aware of moments when we are not under attack. Feeling the sensation of safety.  Sometimes it may amount to sticking our fingers in our ears and singing La la la. Or reading a trashy novel. It’s a start. 

Yes, we can live in a constant state of overwhelm. Sort of. But it’s exhausting and unhealthy. When we feel stronger and more stable, we can do more, take more action, be there for ourselves, our children, and generally, the world. So it makes sense. 

Focus on the good. 

Focus on what works.

And take some action. Pick something. Just one thing. It can be very, very small. It still makes a difference. Taking action feels good, too. 

One of the greatest goods in my life is Oriental dance. It has so many built-in elements that help release stress and trauma! These elements are strongest in our improvisation. I’ll be featured Friday on the BellyDance Bundle’s new podcast Yallah Raqs talking about Improvisation, and included in their Instagram 21 Days of Practice Challenge (along with many other great teachers!).

Plus!

I’m pleased to offer a short series of live, online Fun Classes. 

They focus on–fun! Having fun with dance. 

FUN classes are live online (video) classes designed for FUN for all levels. They are primarily follow-me, improv-strong classes with some combinations, technique, and a Dancemeditation section for stress release and joy. 

Each class is recorded. The recording is available for one week only, then replaced by the next recording. We use zoom for the classes and Teachable to host the streamable recordings.

Let’s set aside one hour a week to marinate in joy. 

6-Week session starts Thursday, Oct 17 at 7PM Eastern time.  Sign up here. I would love to see you!

 

With all my love, 
Alia

 

 

 

 

How to Live Through Hard Times

3. Bait. Inktober2019

Things have been tough lately, haven’t they? Terrible things in the news, the rise of racism, homophobia, and general cruelty. At least it is here in the USA and it seems to be a global trend. Most of us have been exhausted for the last few years. It’s like an endless attack, and since it comes from the news and the internet, and all around us, it’s hard to fight back.

So I have kind of a radical suggestion.

Stop.

A few weeks ago I found myself scrolling Facebook, infuriated by all the shady crap the government is pulling, the kids in cages on the border, the infringement of public lands, the weakening of every protection. People need to know this, I thought, and I posted a ton of really depressing stuff.

Then my timeline was one long stream of upsetting things. I didn’t like that.

So I changed tactics. I posted good things. Useful strategies. Stories about individuals who made a difference.

Am I sticking my head in the sand? Maybe. I’m still noticing the evils that go on all around. But I’d rather focus on the good.

3. Bait. Inktober2019

We are all inclined to focus on the problem. It’s a human thing. If things are good, fine. But problems are dangerous. So we give them disproportionate attention. And at times like this, there is no end of them. Serious things. But do we really want to give them all that power over us?

I admit, it can be very, very hard to drag ourselves away from the trauma vortex, that endlessly tempting downward spiral of anger, pain, shame, and blame. But it’s worth our while to do so, every day.

What can we do?

Look around. Be in the here and now. Find a nice safe space and take the time to feel safe.

Exhale. Long exhales tell the body it is safe. Exhale to a count of 8, inhale only to 4. It works quickly.

Move. Our dance has so much joy to give. Put on some music, close your eyes and let you body move as it wishes. Breathe with the music and enjoy the physical sensation of reacting to the music!

Be with people. Especially people who help you feel uplifted. Volunteer for your candidate of choice, join a book group (for something fun, of course), or….

Take a class. It’s a great way to be with people while leveling up your skills. Here are some suggestions.

Focusing on the good is why I made Focus on the Feeling. It’s a course about critique. Most folks think of critique as negative. To me, it’s about looking at what’s working–and how to make it better. FoF starts in October–you might find it a good distraction from all the misery–and your dance will improve ; )

Another way of focusing on the good is the upcoming ACE Mastermind. We’ll identify your creative goals, and craft a step-by-step practice plan so you can achieve them, with accountability, camaraderie, and great group of friends.

Even more cheerfulness awaits you with the Online Fun Classes. These start Oct 17. A one-hour, live video dance class designed to be a good time for all levels. Something different every week, a little technique, a combination, some zils or veil, some Dancemeditation–all so you feel refreshed and relaxed.

And there’s the super fun Bellydance Bundle Instagram Challenge, 21 days of belly dance exercises and drills. It’s open to everyone, it’s free, and it’s going on now.

And of course, remember to VOTE.

That’s all for now!

All my love,
Alia

What is the Most Terrifying Thing in Belly Dance? (and how do we tame it?)

terrified dancer

Well, maybe it’s a tie with improvisation, but see what you think ; )

A friend of mine had a terrible disaster fall upon her. Several, actually. And she had an event to do. She could barely function, but she hosted the event, and she did her show. We, her friends, sat at the tables and sent her so much love. Despite it all, she was beautiful and courageous.

Just as she left the stage, a visiting dancer told her how much better she would look if she brought her shoulders down. Um, yeah. She’d look a lot better if the world hadn’t just taken a big dump on her head, too. But this dancer just had to say her piece. CRASH. Good-bye, all the joy of having done the hard thing.

It’s happened to all of us.

“Your dance would be so much better if you <insert some opinion here>.” It’s not whether they are right or not. It’s the time. And the place. And the agenda. And why is so much importance placed on niggling details–yet the content of the dance is never even mentioned?

Who doesn’t live in in fear of the Dance Police? Sometimes it seems like anyone at any time feels entitled to tell us about our art. And not in a good way. Not to mention the sense of doom we have when we go to watch the video of our latest dance. It’s tough when we have so many things to worry about.

terrified dancer

People generally never learn how to do a proper critique. A proper critique includes productive feedback on strengths and weaknesses. It is kind, honest, and empowering. It is delivered neutrally. It listens to the artist’s vision and helps them accomplish what they want, to say what they want to say.

But when do we get that? Even folks who went to art school (any of the arts), are often critiqued viciously, on purpose, to break them down or make them cry or whatever. And how many of us grew up in homes where everyone pointed out all our flaws? Yeah, me too. So when I started working as a writing teacher, I learned how to critique my students so that their writing actually got better–and they felt good about it.

Poor critique causes unnecessary pain. Productive critique brings encouragement, curiosity, and inspiration. Being subject to anyone’s mean-spirited, cutting critique is terrifying. Learning how to critique well, how to ask for what we need–this is how we tame it.

I see a lot of problems with getting good feedback.

Lots of dancers frustrated because all they got was empty saccharine compliments or snotty remarks about their hair. Or complaints that any useful comments are not sisterly–a notion that quality doesn’t matter, it’s all about sisterhood. Teachers frustrated by trying to help dancers improve, only to be met with hurt feelings and bitterness. Opinions are presented as facts. Dancers feel shamed. A mess, all around.

So I made a class, to teach what I had learned. It’s called…

Focus on the Feeling: How to Get and Give Great Critique

The premise of the course is that Oriental dance has some specific cultural ideals, and these come first. The feeling in the moment, sharing joy, playfulness, and so forth. If those aren’t happening, stop. Work on that. Once those elements are in place, then we may proceed to other layers of the dance.

I collected five models I have found useful into a cohesive whole, with an arc that begins with calling out the good and concludes with the use of rubrics to help us note what’s important and to really see what is there.

Every piece of it is carefully designed to shine light on our art. Not only that, but it teaches dancers how to do productive self-critique (instead of hating on all our perceived flaws ; ). So it’s useful for dancers and students who want to have more nuanced approach to their own dance, and for teachers who want to help their students improve. It’s a win-win!

I feel so strongly about useful critique that I’ve made the early price ridiculously cheap. I spend a good half hour per week on each person on the course. Even if I value my time at $50/hr (which is cheap for a college instructor with over 45 years of experience in the dance), that’s still $300 of my time over the five weeks.

The early price won’t last long. It goes away when 10 seats are filled or Sept 22, whichever comes first. But the benefits of the class? Those last forever.

Imagine feeling good about your dance.

Imagine enjoying video of yourself. Imagine being able to help your friends or students improve–and having them feel good about it. All this can be yours.

I invite you to check it out.

Focus on the Feeling: How to Get and Give Great Critique

Love,
Alia


PS I am selling some Geisha Moth and Melodia dancewear. Have a look!

How to critique for confidence (or, “What the hell is this B?”)

A gal I knew was raised to believe that she mustn’t handle flowers when she had her period, because the flowers would die. I’m not kidding. People used to believe this.

I was shocked to meet someone for whom this had once been a truth. We met in the first belly dance class I ever took, so she had finally figured out there was something wrong with that picture (and it is an easy test, after all).

Outdated Beliefs

Sadly, many of us are raised with equally outdated beliefs and models

And we never even think to question them.

One of the more dysfunctional models with which I was raised was the dismissal of anything done well, and a focus on what was wrong. For example, growing up, I never heard, “Oh, honey, four As. Nice work!” Nope. All I got was, “What the hell is this B?” So this is how I talked to myself, too.

My self-critique was vicious. I couldn’t watch a video of my own dance without wanting to die. I never saw the good of what I did. I felt anxious and insecure.

I see that same focus on what’s wrong in many of my dance friends and students. We have been brainwashed into thinking that we have to be perfect or stay home. Women especially are tyrannized by the expectation of perfection. That’s just a myth designed to keep us powerless. When we focus our critique on what’s wrong, we rob ourselves of confidence and accomplishment. When we focus on what’s right, we win.

Switching to what’s right builds confidence

In child-rearing, the productive model is to tell the kids what to do. Instead of saying NO all the time, you can say YES. Instead of “Don’t touch that!” you redirect the kid to what is okay for them to play with. This was a big shift. When I started teaching writing at the college level, I educated myself about how to teach, how to do critique. Wow. I learned a LOT. It changed me as a teacher and as a human being.

Focus on student success

I have been a teacher at some level since the early 80s, working first for Headstart and later as a Speech Language Assistant in the public school system. I now teach English Composition at the college level (and have for over 20 years), so I have to do a lot of critique.

It was a hard job to change this in myself, but it mattered a lot. I was a LOT nicer to my students than to myself,  but I still told them what was wrong with their work instead of what was right. It didn’t work very well–for me or them.

The main thing I learned is to emphasize everything students did right. I even developed rubrics with all the tasks so I could find more things to compliment. And I went one step further. When we discussed what needed improvement, I framed it as an action step—something to do, instead of taking them to task for mistakes.

For a dance example, to a student with good presence but sloppy, floppy hands, I’d say, “I love your shining presence. I’d love to see you bring that energy into your hands. What if you try this?” And I’d demonstrate. This worked. It worked with the writers and the dancers. It worked for me, too.

Yes, there is a lot of crappy dance out there

But is shaming dancers for their mistakes going to make it any better? What if we try another way? When dancers enjoy the pleasure of the movement and the moment, when they give themselves to the the dance, when they are relaxed enough to enjoy the process, they feel more confident–and their technique often improves organically.

Nothing is perfect. Everything has room to develop. This life is is about becoming, not being. We learn, we grow, we change. Otherwise, we are dead. We copy to learn, we take classes, study others, and practice. But there comes a time when we must hop out on the branch, flap our wings, launch ourselves, and fly. Taking such risks benefits us in so many ways, some understood and others yet to come.

Will our first efforts suck?

Of course they will! Growth and learning include failure and revision. That’s how we learn—through trial and error, persistence, feedback, and trying again. Embracing process, identifying and correcting errors, this is key to improvement. Shame is not.

Let’s all learn how to reinforce the good, critique wisely, and model Eastern dance principles.

And what is the most important of these?

The most important thing is the feeling!

Look for that first. Everything else can wait.

Love,
Alia

Why we focus on Fluency, Clarity, and Correctness (in that order)

I teach writing part-time at a state university. I’ve done so for the last 20 years. When I started, I was frustrated when the only thing I could say to a student was, “This sentence isn’t right.” I could tell them how to fix it, but I couldn’t explain why. Back in grade school, I just ignored all the grammar stuff. I always knew which constructions were correct, and how to fix the the wrong ones. My family spoke standard English and I read incessantly, so that was easy for me. Grammar rules, however, were confusing and annoying. I blithely ignored them. 

But now I needed to understand the damn things. I engaged in a pretty rigorous study of how to teach writing, how to critique effectively, grammar, structure, and so forth. I brought piles of books home from the school library, and any that were boring or badly written, I threw aside, then picked up a new one. I mean, it’s writing. If some expert can’t write a book about it that is interesting, well…

I learned a lot in my home-made study course, and not just about writing. I’ve found that strategies for writing well (and for critiquing writing) translate very nicely into dance. One of the reasons is that writing is very much an improvisational activity. Even if we know what we want to write to write about, our actual putting together of words is done off the cuff–we may stop once in a while to think of a word, and we may revise quite carefully, but the initial act of putting words on paper is a creative improvisation.

Over time, I have adapted many models of writing, revision, and critique to dance. One that I especially like is the quick assessment model, Fluency, Clarity, and Correctness–in that order. This means when we assess a dancer, we look first to fluency. If we don’t find it, if the dancer’s movement is awkward, hesitant, off-time, or whatever, we stop there and work on that.

Let’s look at these concepts one by one, and how they work in writing as well as dance. Today, we will look at…

Fluency

In writing, fluency mean the ability to put words on paper with relative ease. You understand the language and can easily craft suitable sentences. Freewriting, for example, increases fluency, as we write fast without stopping or judgement. We learn to write without constantly stopping to think about what comes next–we get into a zone, and we trust our pen/keyboard/body to come up with what we need. We don’t think about each sentence we write. We just write–and if anything needs correcting or polishing, we do that later. 

In dance, fluency means we can dance easily, respond to the music, and generally enjoy ourselves dancing as we improvise. It’s about being able to easily transition, to trust ourselves that what we need will come out, and to be able to be in a zone and enjoy the moment. 

One Skill at a Time

In both writing and dance, we will not get very far if we can’t create with ease. I’m not saying we don’t ever struggle to make our work shine–of course we do! But we have internalized that skill of allowing the body to do its thing without lots of agony or second guessing. In writing we learn to disconnect the editor from the creator. We just let the words out, and we polish them later. In dance, we also learn to disconnect the editor from the creator. When we dance, we let go of thinking and just move with the music. Both embrace a flow state, full engagement with the present moment. 

As a teacher (of both writing and dance), my first goal is that students can comfortably create. I assign freewriting to my college classes, and to my dance students, I assign freeform improvisation. I don’t worry in the beginning if their work makes sense, if their movement is pretty, or even if they are belly dancing. The first skill is letting go of thinking and judgement; it is letting the body move intuitively with the music. 

In the idea we’ve been discussing, One Skill at a Time, fluency is one skill. It’s a big one, and there are smaller skills along the way, but they are all in the same club. So we don’t get all exercised about the other stuff. I’ve talked before about that little pipe in our head through which ideas flow. As we begin learning, there is a lot of rusty crud backed up in there. As with an unused faucet, it has to come out first so the clear water can flow. Worse, getting all knotted up with thinking (or freaking out about the rust) cuts off the flow entirely. So at first, we just let it all out. One skill at a time. If we have to worry about how we look, whether we are doing “allowable” movement, we will just freeze up entirely and that will be the end of us. 

Baby steps

Once we have mastered basic fluency, when we can follow the music without getting in our own way, we can add in another skill, like incorporating our dance vocabulary, or expressing more complex music, or whatever. But still, one skill at a time. Even if that time is only 30 seconds, and then we switch to keeping our posture for a while, or our pretty hands, or feeling our feet interact with the earth–we keep it simple. Because when we try to do too much at once…

Too much at once
Uh-oh!

It’s a DISASTER. 

We practice in the studio so when we go to dance, we can just let go and dance. And one of the most important things we practice–is letting go. So we can dance. Effortlessly. Ahhh!
Love,
Alia

PS If you would like to just let go and dance, you might like Effortless Improvisation! It’s a great  six-week improv crash course suitable for home dancers and performers alike. Registration closes on Sunday, August 25th, so please have a look right away. 


Upcoming events: 

I’ll be performing September 14, 2019 at Belly Dance Nights at the Main St. Museum in White River Junction, VT. We start at 7PM, and it’s only $15 for advance sales. This is the funnest show and dance party going (and there’s plenty of parking). Please come join us!

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Improvise for Oriental Dance

Alia dancing improvisation

Stuck in choreography? Wish your students could improvise? Wish you could improvise?

Dancers are often afraid to improvise, preferring the safety of choreography. Yet improv is a core skill for belly dance!

So how do we teach this? Can improv even be taught? Is there no hope?

Yes, there’s hope!

Alia Thabit is a specialist in improvisation and improv-based composition, and the coming months are a celebration of improvisation! From local classes and workshops to an online webinar and forum-based course, the time has come to open ourselves up to the music and see what comes out!

Alia dancing improvisation
Photo credit: Ben de Florio

Here are our upcoming events:

Cairo Cabaret, July 14. 2019

Workshops in Northampton MA: 

Effortless Improv + Micro-Movement
11 am-12:15 pm
Improvisation is a core skill for belly dance, but so many folks just learn choreography–which makes it even harder to learn improvisation! Through tested strategies such as Micro-Movement, Rhythmic Breath, Slow Movement, and Creative Limitation, students will learn how to access limitless movement options, turn off anxiety and self-judgement, and turn on their intuitive response to the music. 

Spontaneous Construction—complex, exciting easy-to-remember group dances–in about an hour.
1-2:15 pm
In this class, we will learn how to build fast, fun, group dances–in about an hour. Dances that are complex, interactive, and easy to remember; dances that leave room for each dancer’s personal expression, with every cue drenched in feeling and meaning so dancers are free to embody the music in a more organic way. Full process notes will be included.

Full day- $70; Single Workshop $40
Bonus– all workshop attendees are invited to participate in an online book club discussion her book Midnight at the Crossroads. Still a few spaces left. Join here: https://www.sahinabellydance.com/workshops-with-alia.html/ 


Cairo Cabaret Show
5-8 pm at American Legion Post 275 in Chicopee (see map below)
The show is hosted by Troupe Hazine and is open to the public. Cover is $8.

 

Webinar: How to Teach Improvisation for Oriental Dance

August 4th at 2PM Eastern. $15 includes includes notes and follow-up. I will be teaching a few classes for the Belly Dance Business Academy, starting with this webinar. It’s pointed at teachers, but students will also get a lot out of it. Signup coming soon.  Info is here. 

 

Raq-On Studio Classes

Aug-September, White River Junction, VT. Focus on improv. Sold out, sorry. 

 

Effortless Improv: a 6-week online improvisation crash course

Sunday, August 25 through Friday October 4th, 2019

Effortless Improv explores improvisation including Dancing to Live Music.
You can learn to improvise. You can learn to feel the music. It’s a skill, and you can learn it.
Designed for those who want to learn or teach improvisation.
Check it out here! Still a few early-bird seats left… https://aliathabit.com/classes/effortless/

 

Available any time

Embodiment: Musicality for Oriental Dance

Ziltastic! Fast, fun, finger cymbal improvisation. 

Want something else? Just ask!

Love,

Alia

 

How We Change The World

Smash Patriarchy

Greetings!


It is so nearly spring here in Vermont that the weather changes every day. We are tired of winter–so very tired.

#inktober 25. Tired. Drawn with Note 3 + Sketchbook for Galaxy
When will it ever be spring again?

Apparently, dancers are tired, too–tired of the toxic environments, bullying, and negativity many belly dancers must navigate.

In a recent Facebook post, Yasmina Ramzy, yasminaramzy.com, wrote on Facebook of her dismay over these challenges. The post struck a chord, with almost 200 replies from folks who had such experiences, as well as many suggestions for change. The following quote is just a taste of the original.

RAQS SHARQI IS SO BEAUTIFUL, EMPOWERING, HEALING, INSPIRING, SOUL-ENRICHING AND FULL OF JOY.
And yet ….

often when I arrive in a new city to teach a workshop, the host picks me up at the airport and at some point we share a meal and then the host breaks down crying while she asks what to do about feeling bullied by the BD community Or….

the out-of-town students in Pro Course who book a private and within 10 minutes they are in tears asking me how to cope with being bullied by other Bellydancers . Or….

the 2am phonecalls, I receive from across North America from past students in tears who can not cope with troupe members or students being nasty to her or to each other
Or….or….or….

-Yasmina Ramzy

She listed many more such experiences and and asked what folks thought would help. I have a lot of thoughts about this, so I posted a response–which garnered a hundred likes, loves, etc, and 25 comments of its own. Wow! I saw that people are interested in this topic, so I decided to share it with you. Here it is. (I have edited it a little bit ; )

I have also heard the stories and been thinking about this.

I notice several elements in play.

1. We in the west have made this dance over in our own likeness 
-as a primarily performance art rather than a social dance 
-as a venue for stylization, choreography, and competitive perfectionism, rather than a playful dance of joy
-as a taking rather than a giving

2. We have all been damaged by internalized sexism and patriarchy. In some folks this results in victimizing, shaming, and blaming (do unto others), and in others, in ongoing vulnerability to victimization.

-this is part of our dual addiction to perfectionism and self loathing, both of which, I think, are connected to the unresolved chronic stress of being women in this society. It is even worse for minorities of any kind, who get double doses of daily meanness.

3. Everyone is angry. Turf wars in a saturated market place, scarcity mentality, Internet anonymity’s decimation of decent manners, and the legitimate rage felt by those who have gotten the short end of the minority stick all conspire into a time of unprecedented bullying from every angle.

How do we heal our troubled dance world?

The fact is, we can only change ourselves. But we are leaders. Leaders go first. They show the way. So where we go, others will follow. That being said… one person can have a BIG impact.

A. Bring the dance back to its roots.

Value improvisation, with all its impermanence and messiness. Value live improvised music of the culture. Value social dance, playfulness, and joy. Dance is supposed to be fun!

B. Prioritize dancer agency.

This is a core strength of our dance. Empower student confidence. Engage students in the creative process. We do not need little dance automatons who are only concerned with following orders and how they look. We want our dancers to have something to say. Dance is communication, self-expression. Teach dancers to find their own true dance.

C. Focus on how the dance *feels.*

Patriarchy wants us to focus on our looks, our sexual attractiveness. It wants us to always be seeking approval. It undermines our felt reality. It’s time to take back our pleasure in movement. 

Oriental dance is about expressing our feeling from the music, emotional, yes, but also the deliciousness of the physical action of dance. This dance feels good to the body. 

When we improvise, we let the body respond to the music as it wishes. As such, the dance becomes a healing, stress releasing, and deeply spiritual practice. We have enough problems in life. Dance is for joy. 

D. PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

We get what we pay attention to. Its time to let the haters go.

-Someone is a jerk? Unfollow them. Don’t go to their classes or events. 

-Don’t bitch in class about anything–dance class is joy time. I don’t care how hard it is to to get respect, make a living, etc. Don’t put that on your students (or your classmates). You don’t want their pity. You want their enthusiasm.

-Find compassionate, generous dance folks and back them–especially teachers of the culture. 

-Check your privilege. Most belly dancers are white women. For folk of other colors, sexual orientation, abilities, low socioeconomic status, etc, life is so much harder than we can ever imagine. Remember this.

-Take steps to be fair and kind, to provide safe spaces for your students. It’s okay to fire bitchy, troublesome students. Make your classroom a bubble of joy. 

We may only be able to change ourselves, but we can build a nurturing creative oasis, and welcome others inside. The ripples spread, ever outward…

We heal the world, one undulation at a time.

###

We bring joy. That’s our job Let’s do it.

Love,
Alia

PS If this resonates with you, you might enjoy the book Midnight at the Crossroads: has belly dance sold its soul? https://aliathabit.com/bellydancesoul.com

PS Want something to do?

(if any links don’t work properly, please copy and paste)

Everyone!

Ziltastic: Fast, fun, finger cymbal Improvisation and
Embodiment: musicality for Oriental Dance
are now open at https://alia.teachable.com
Build skills and have fun with well-designed e-courses!

Tonight, April 11: Ranya Renee has been curating a wonderful series of free livestream interviews on colorism in the dance world. Her guest tonight is Aaliyah Jenny, a marvelous performer and stellar human being. Join Ranya’s FB group to get access: https://facebook.com/groups/gingercity
More info: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10161733456885327&set=a.10151026251745327&type=3&theater/

New England Live!

Sunday, April 14: Lebanese male dancer Victor “Sharif” Ziter performs at the Cairo Cabaret in Chicopee MA. If you want to see a man dance, this is it. https://www.facebook.com/events/1259294750904527/

Saturday, May 18th: Boston area folks–Soumaya MaRose’s 7th “Thé à l’Oriental” with Tamalyn Dallal and Amar Gamal Garcia, and features a traditional Moroccan Iftar fest. Soumaya is a brilliant Moroccan Oriental dancer, and she does things right. This is a do-not-miss if you are in the area.

Saturday-Sunday, June 8-9: Cassandra Shore in midcoast Maine. Cassandra is exceptional. I can only remember one time she was in New England–and that was decades ago. Not to be missed! It’s hosted by Kay Hardy Campbell, so you know it will be good. https://www.facebook.com/events/1060567260783532/

Sunday, July 14: I’ll be teaching improv and group composition in Northampton MA (and performing that night at Cairo Cab). Space is limited and registration is now open:
https://www.facebook.com/events/2178111372274149/?active_tab=about

Elsewhere Live!

June 5-12: Tamalyn Dallal Weeklong in New Orleans is ALWAYS a treat. https://www.facebook.com/events/208356106754704/

What are we supposed to feel?

Love Your Self

For the last two months, I have been deep into the How to Create Dance Art course, createdanceart.com. One of the assignments is to note any feelings or images that arise as you listen to your songs.

“Any feelings–strong or fleeting, odd or mysterious, any and all wisps–record them in the spreadsheet where they occur. One line can have a markedly different feeling/image from the next; allowing the body to experience and interpret these treasures brings the dance to life.

All answers/feeling/images are correct. If you get nothing, that’s perfectly fine. This will be great for some of us and meh for others.”

To my surprise, I got SO many comments about about not being able to parse the feelings in songs. “Oh, I am not good at that,” people said. Then I noticed other folks saying the same things.

Like there were some hidden meanings they were supposed to be able to uncover. Like someone said somewhere that this passage is sad and that one is happy, and you are supposed to be able to figure out which is which according to some mysterious invisible rulebook.

Forget that. It does not exist. 

You don’t know what the composer intended–you only know what YOU FEEL. Your responses to the music may be…

  • Emotional–just straight up emotions like happy, sad, yearning etc
  • Physical–movement, but also other physical sensations, cold, warm, buzzing, heaviness, and in any part of your body
  • Images–people, locations, colors, land or skyscapes, anything
  • Meaning pieces–attitudes, postures, events, locations, characters, stories, or whatever
  • Or ANYTHING ELSE that comes to you as you listen to, draw, contemplate, or dance your songs

It’s YOU. Whatever YOU FEEL. That’s what’s important. Listen to YOUR body, your feelings. Discover your responses to the music. Open yourself to the music (and if you don’t feel anything, listen to better music ;).

It’s all about you <3

People feel different things. If I am making a dance that others will dance, I will tell them what I intended, which would be what I felt from the piece. But the fact is, we feel different things. This is why this dance is predicated upon the dancer’s own agency and interpretation.

Maybe some instructor told you what they felt from the music. But you might respond differently. And that is OKAY.

If you want to know what the words mean, fine. Maybe they are in counterpoint to the melody. If the words are sad and the tune feels happy, then you have an interesting dynamic to dance. And vice versa. It’s all good.

Dance what you feel. What YOU feel. That’s the bottom line. “The dancer shows her guests what she feels from the music.”

That’s what this dance is.

Speaking of dancing with feeling, I’m dreaming of a holistic “belly dance to heal trauma” retreat, someplace lovely. Would you be interested? Where would be a good place to do this?

Also, the #basicbellydancerchallenge was great fun! You can see my efforts on my Facebook or Instagram profiles, and you can search either platform with the hashtag to see everyone else’s.

With all my love,
Alia

PS Entrepreneurs! I’m very much enjoying Eric Maisel’s new course Mastering the One-Person Business. It’s practical and pragmatic, yet empowering–and it breaks everything down into doable parts. Recommended!

How to have the most beautiful dance (yes, really)

Recently in my practice, I enjoyed playing with The Most Beautiful Move. As the music unspooled, I let random moves appear, marveling over each one as The Most Beautiful I Have Ever Done. Continuing to follow the music, I let more moves come, and each of them was the Most Beautiful. It occurred to me, as I dusted a cloud of shimmering love over each move, that I could step up to The Most Beautiful Dance I Have Ever Done. I wondered what that would be like…

Well.

Everything changed.

My posture changed—it became more lifted. My face changed. It became more more relaxed, engaged—dare I say benevolent? My chin came up, not high, but straight. It’s funny, that a normal, relaxed head position that brings the chin and face to level, should feel haughty. This is how beaten down we/I have become over the years. Just taking up our own space, allowing our bodies to uncompress and uncrimp, should seem haughty.

There was a study I heard about, decades ago, that measured how much women and men spoke in a conversation. Generally, the men spoke more. Oh, surprise ; ). But when a woman spoke as much as a man (an equal amount), everyone—men and women—perceived that the woman overshadowed the conversation, that she spoke far more than her fair share of time. I have no idea how sturdy or flawed this study was, but that sounds about right. And it is instructive.

Women in general are expected to shut up and let men talk. Let men do. Let men be the center of attention. Our dance reverses that. Despite every effort to subvert it into something done at the behest of men.

Our dance gives dancers agency, beauty, and joy.

So why do we still duck our heads and feel ashamed of our dance? In the West, at least, so many of us have been encouraged to never feel good enough. To hide our accomplishments. To believe that loving ourselves, believing in ourselves, expressing ourselves, is vain, arrogant, selfish. Our dance becomes an apology for taking up space. Or we are afraid to share our dance, thinking that we will be somehow shamed. Because we have been shamed so many times.

You know the adage, “dance like no one is watching”? I understand it’s supposed to make us feel free. But maybe it’s time to dance like someone is watching. Someone who loves us.

Ourselves.

It is time we love ourselves. Believe in ourselves. Express ourselves. It is time we bring joy into our dance.

So.

I invite you to dance The Most Beautiful Dance You Have Ever Done.

Indeed, I invite you to dance this every time you dance.

Understand–for this is vital—it is the feeling, the commitment, the conviction, that is important.

What you do doesn’t matter. How you do it, the intention, the love, the cherishing with which you do it–that is the important part. That is the beautiful part. To allow ourselves to feel beautiful, loving, joyous—and through us for our guests to feel the same—this is the gift of our dance.

Embodiment: Musicality for Oriental Dance helps dancers understand the music so they can relax and enjoy themselves. It’s just one of the many great classes available at two for 1+ over on the Sharegasm. You’ll find them all at https://aliathabit.com/holiday18

Love,
Alia

PS Here’s the music I used—Hashet from O. Faruk Tekbilek’s Mystical Garden. It’s almost 9 minutes. Feel free to play it twice. Then rest. That’s what I did ❤️
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SW4vJgaLvQ